Miss T-My Journey

The Name of Hope

2008-01-18T02:58:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine sent me this link yesterday and it gave me a new insight to the word "Hope". Read it for yourself. I hope it blesses you.

The Name of Hope
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001646.cfm?eafref=1

Towards the end...

2007-12-24T00:36:00.000-05:00

Update: I was blessed enough to attain my Masters degree last Sunday. It was a very exciting day for me, and my brother Godfrey who was also graduating on that same day.
So I am officially an M.B.A. graduate...sounds good to say :-D

So what next? I've had to provide some answers to that question like 100 times since I graduated. What next? I am praying for an exciting job, and not just one that pays the bills. I am also taking the time to REST and be sad that I won't have any quizzes, midterms or finals to work on anymore ( or at least the next few years).

I am also excited about the coming year. I have heard (and believe) that the year 2008 symbolizes a year of NEW BEGINNINGS. How exciting is that??? Looking back on the year 2007, which was the "defining" year of what stays and what God takes away, I am even surprised as to how precise God can be sometimes. This has truly been the defining year for me, and I can't wait to start all over again in 2008.Hopefully, I would have NEW level of confidence in myself and trust in the promises I receive, a new job, a new car or a new friend...whichever God thinks I'm ready for ;-)

So MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone. Let the Love of God and the knowledge of Jesus Christ bring true joy and peace to us all. Amen.

My Transition

2007-12-02T23:00:00.000-05:00

So it was confirmed tonight that December is my official month of Transition. I don't know if any one else feels it but I've felt like one of the Israelites wondering around the desert for some time now. You know hoe you go through the same tests, feelings...issues time and time again, and all you keep wondering is "why the heck does this keep happening to me?"

Well I've discovered that we need to have these "desert" experiences in order to learn certain lessons necessary to make it in the next phase of our life stories. I know now that I am being equipped with the amount of Faith, Trust and will to completely surrender to God, so that when I get to that Promise Land, I know Who took me there and for what purpose.

So I am prepared. I am expectant. I know that I will be alone and feel lonely through out this transition period but I can't afford to take anything not necessary at this point. I have been in this valley for too long and I need a complete make over of the mind, body and soul. Lord I NEED IT!!!!

To end this posting, but to begin this price-less experience, we need to remember that the hardest things to do in life is to Trust, to Hope and to Forgive. To forgive means to start all over again. How true is that???

Finally....

2007-11-27T02:22:00.000-05:00

Ok. So why has it taken me 2 months plus to remember my username and password??? Crazy!!! So I finally remembered my info, which means I can post random messages again. Yippeeee. The world is a happier place once again.

My Summer (Part 1)

2007-06-14T03:51:00.000-04:00

I do have to say, it's been more than a while since I posted anything new. But I figured that since I am embarking on a completely new experience, I should have a place to update those closest to me about the different happenings that occur on a daily/weekly basis.

So much has happened since I turned 23 in Feb. I've experienced so much that has changed my views on relationships, family, world economies and God. Most of all, I am grateful to God for who I am now, and who I feel I am on a journey to becoming.
To touch on the most recent events, some loved ones have been blessed enough to graduate, get accepted into schools of their dreams, and get married traditionally. I just started an internship in health care management, at the UN health care center in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. It's been a life-changing experience so far, and though (honestly) I am a little scared of the remaining two months to come (for various reasons), I know that I will be equipped with the strength needed to make it through those uncertain times.
My sister had her traditional wedding about two weekends ago here, and boy was that an eye-opening experience. I am happy to say that she is well on her way to making a young man out there one of the world's luckiest people. I am both excited and sad about the whole thing. I will be giving up some of the rights I thought I had to someone else, who loves her alot, but never as much as I do. But such is life I guess, and we all learn to love and let go sometimes. But this is a 'till death do us part' relationship...the one I have with my sister, and that is something no one can take away. I will work on uploading the pics from the ceremony (and my b-day...I haven't forgotten) as soon as I can.

Through all this, I remember to give God all the glory and honor, for He continues to bless each and every one of us, especially at times when we least deserve or feel it. I don't want to be all over the place, but I will continue to write as time goes bye. I miss and love you all back in MD/DC/VA.

Happy Birthday To Me (Part 1)

2007-02-06T16:38:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to Me. Thank you all for your calls and messaages of love. I had a blessed day, though I had to go to class in this ridiculous weather. But I thank God the class was a very interesting one and that made up for being out.
So thank you and can't wait for the dinner on Saturday. Cheers!!

Me....venting

2007-01-23T19:22:00.000-05:00

This past week was CRAZY, to say the least. In that one week, I felt pain and loss like I'd never before. This awakened me to the sad fact that some day, each and everyone of us will loose those things we sometimes overlook, but hold dearest to our hearts.
But My God was good, and I am thankful to be where I am today. But even today, I am filled with different conflicting emotions and feelings that make me search for that one person that fits ALL my criterias, just so that I can pour out these feelings and thoughts to. I think about the Ultimate One, but somehow, I feel I need someone "closer by". How weird is that???

For the past few months, I've been wrestling with my needs/wants, what I believe I am entitled to and how I don't seem to be getting the respect I deserve and work for. The funny thing is that this has to do with those closest to me, and not the crazy co-worker or annoying boss. Why can't I get that "thank you" and "I'm sorry you're right" when it's most needed??? Why, Lord, do I have to be the one to take all the unnecessary crap just because of the position you have put me in? Why can't people learn? Why? Why? Why?????

God has been faithful so far, and He continues to show me that He is still in the midst of everything I consider to be "crap" that occurs daily. But what am I not doing? Why should I have to put up with this for a day longer? Why should I keep serving so much when I feel my work load should be cut in half?

Lord,I am so frustrated, tired and upset with myself because this isn't me and my heart isn't glad with all I do.How long will I have to care when they seem to have other important issues on their plate??? I just want to run away and be free from all this.

New Beginnings in a new year.

2007-01-16T01:04:00.000-05:00

As usual, I'm back from one of my many long vacations away from blogging. It's a brand NEW YEAR, which I believe holds alot more possibilities and grace than last year. So this year, I promise to try harder...in everything. Promising to quit one bad habit after another, as is expected by all when a New year begins, could be a receipe for disaster. I have found this to be true. Like a crystal meth or heroin addict trying to go "cold turkey" as a means to break a deadly addiction, it is better to take it one day at a time.

So I will make no huge promises with regards to the frequency at which I will/should be blogging. But I did have a wonderful Christmas celebration and a blessed New Year's eve. Here are some pics.

(Please ignore my feet :-D)

My handsome cousin whom we recently located somewhere in GA (along with his two older sisters and older brother).. It's a bizzare story but the bottome line is that God is good.

Thank God it's Friday!!!

2006-09-08T12:37:00.000-04:00

Today has started off "ok". I know that's not a great way to begin a blog entry but that's just about how I feel right now. Ok. Last night, I was on the phone with a special friend of mine but for some silly reason, I decided to go off and act like I was suffering from a split personality disorder (lol). For a second, I forgot that I was only doing it to bug him, but was almost believing it myself. Scary T....Very scary!!!
But God is good as always, and I should stop all this madness...literally. I've not been feeling my best health-wise and felt like I could use that as an excuse to act up. Not anymore (Lanre, if you're reading this...I promise :-D).

I just want to give my little testimony and say that no matter (O Lord...help me remember this always)how I feel or what happens, God is yet faithful, loving and waiting to make things right again. With classes, work and just the crazy fast pace of everyday life, it's easy to get swamped and burdened. So Lord, I've decided to take this time to say Hi (Hi Lord) and that I am eternally grateful that You know me by name and you continue to love me, in the midst of my mess. I am also constantly reminded this season that all things are possible, as long as You get the praise at the end. I can never thank you enough.

You are Alpha....

2006-08-13T12:12:00.000-04:00

You are Alpha and Omega
We worship you our Lord
You are worthy to be praised

We give you ALL the glory
We worship you our Lord
You are worthy to be praised

Amen.

Smiling...

2006-07-12T15:54:00.000-04:00

On the topic of Worship. It's funny to see other people going through the same tought times as you are.
I've been running away from God's word for a little while now, and I know see it's because facing God would mean me facing my past and taking those huge leaps towards my future. I've always been a little scared of the UNKNOWN. Well not a little, but alot. I don't like not knowing what to expect and how to get ready for it. I see now that that's who we are as humans; afraid of not being in control of our own destinies and not calling all the shorts with issues that concern us and those we love.
But this morning, I was reminded of something I know I have writen about in other entries in the past, and that is trully being patient and knowing WHO I say my God is. I need to do my part, talk to him more often than I do now, and just Love Him, especially when this earthly vessel doesn't feel like it or understand what is going on.
The truth is we are trully nothing outside of our Main Source. I find that I am at my lowest potential when I don't feed my spirit and mind. And then I wonder why I feel alone and confused. I am nothing but my past and future mistakes without the One who died on the Cross so that those sins won't ever plague me again. So why would I want to carry the weight of my past everyday of my life just because of my fear of the future??? Why won't I embrace and let go to the Man who has proven His love for me over and over and over again? Why won't I choose to continually love and serve Him. Why?
So I choose to praise him with my hands lifted up, eyes shut and tears coming down my cheeks. I do this because it's only at those moments that I feel like I'm doing what I was meant to do.There's so much freedom in honest worship, and in order for it to be honestly from my heart, I need to do the necessary work before I come before Him. He really does deserve Everything praise Everyone can Ever give Him.

2006-06-21T17:19:00.000-04:00

Now I really don't know who I am writing this for or who would be reading it. But I do feel the need to say something, even if it's just to remind myself of this day and time.

The easiest thing that comes to mind is that I am crazy EXCITED that my boys in Miami worn the championship last night. God knows I would have really cried if they hadn't (even though none of these people know I exist in any way, shape or form).
I am happy for them.
The next is the sad fact that I lost something that had been dear to me for many years now. I lost a part of myself, because of my insecurities and fear....I lost a part of me. But surprisingly, I did not find my below drenched with tears the next morning, or my mind scared to death wondering what next. I was ok. I am ok. The devil could sit here and try to make me think of who I lost it to, how I lost it, and how I need to continue fighting to hold on to something that isn't really mine to fight for....but as we all know...THE DEVIL IS (SUCH) A LIAR!!!!

So I need to pray more, hope more, and most of all, remember ( T....really remember) that anything I've lost wasn't for me anyways, and I deserve much, much more than pain, rejection, anger, resentment and the works. I would hate to be consumed by all those negatives, as I have been since the year began.

Hopefully, I will be able to spot "wrongness" from a distance and go the other direction. Stay blessed everyone.

2006-06-06T20:09:00.000-04:00

It's been a nice day so far, and I thank God I can't really complain about life so far.

Random comment: My brother just informed me that he has begun his own blog, and he was inspired by moi (of course) and Miss L. I think that's rather swell.

Now back to my entry. I am in the middle of doing some school work, but have been having some problems focusing. There's the music I'm listening to right now, my e-mail and other random sites (The Facebook..hint..hint)...I'm a lost case.
But I'm feeling good right now and would like to document it for the first time in a short while. I've been catching up with a couple of my friends on some stuff that's going on with them, and it's been good. Just how I think it should be. But what is currently rocking my boat??? What do I think about when that whack commercial comes on in the middle of my show in the evening??? What's the next step or move? Blah. Blah...Blah...just BLAH!!!! Now if this is not the feeling of utter "blahness"....I don't know what is :-D

Spring Semester's over!!!

2006-05-17T21:20:00.000-04:00

It's 9:17PM and I got done with my last final of the first year of my Master's program. Phew!!!!!(that was alot of "ofs"). But it was the easiest final of them all...thank God for huge favors. This semester is all over and done with...so can someone explain to me why I am STILL hanging around the UB campus??? I have zero idea. Maybe it's because I've spent quite a few nights and all my days here since the past three or more weeks. Now I feel like this is my second home..(now I know I'm stressed and I'm lossing it too).

But it's now time to catch up on some friends and house chores. Also, it's time to get back to taking good care of Toni, the best way I know how. Later.

2006-05-10T10:59:00.000-04:00

Things have been going well for a while. I would like to take this opportunity to thank God for His Love, His protection, and most of all, His MERCIES, towards me and my loved ones.
Last weekend was all about graduations...Chris, Oke, Aku, Adanma...and the list goes on. I thank God for journey mercies as we drove to and from Michigan (a long 18hrs+ on the road in total). It was a fun weekend and there will be pics to be shown...real soon.

Thankfully, my mind and heart are lighter...more free...more at peace. Though this past weekend held alot of happy moments, it did carry with it alot of heavy ones too. Without re-living it all again, all I can say is thank you Ray Ray for the late night "release" session last night. I definately needed that and things are much better today. I definately know that no one should be made to feel so low, so confused, so hurt. We all do go through our crazy stages from time to time,but I know that if we only heed the advices of our close friends who have experienced certain things in the past, we could save ourselves months, if not years of heart ache and heart break. But in our fleshy nature, we choose to go through everything that life has to offer. We choose to taste the forbidden fruit, even after been warned not to...over and over...and over again.

I must believe that the curse is broken. I know that there is so much truth and purity out there just waiting to be attained and used. Goodness, Faithfulness, Honesty,Committed/Committment, Righteousness, Love...these are all words that God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) speaks to our hearts everyday...not because they are elements of who He is, but because we have been made in His image, and these SHOULD BE elements of who we are.

Be Blessed This Day.

Tear down and Build...Again

2006-04-22T10:32:00.000-04:00

Ok.....So I've written like 4 times already this week. What can I say?? It's been an extraordinary week.
To top this off, I went on my first community service project yesterday. The University normally hosts a Volunteer day where anyone and everyone comes out, on this Friday, to do some community service. Yesterday, I felt special..I felt blessed because I was able to do something, for someone, in a way I had never experienced before.
My team (of about 15 people) went to work with Habitat for Humanity, and we spent all day tearing down walls, moving chunks or planks of wood (am I right?) and building. I used a Jack Hammer to make a holes 3 Ft deep and then I mixed up and poured cement into these holes. It was scary yet exciting. I wanted to do more, but my body was hinting that I didn't.
I might be part of the few people out here in America who are volunteering in this way, for the first time, but hey....I'm happy I have been able to do something, though little but significant nonetheless. The homes this group rebuild and send are beautiful inside and out, and they sell them for very cheap prices. These neighborhoods need a lot of help and work, and it does my heart glad that they are a group of people sacrificing their time, health and money to see that some form of change is brought about.

So thank you UB for giving me this great, great life-changing opportunity. All the volunteers we blessed at the end of the day...Unfortunately we didn't break down into Psalm singing all togehter.Hahahaha.I thank God for it.

Ohhhhhh...One last thing....MY PHONE IS BACK ON!!!Same number but different phone.

2006-04-20T23:15:00.000-04:00

...It's been many years, three years and a few months...but still I find myself in the same place. I find myself at your feet, O Lord, thoughtless but not hopeless, still, confused, unsure.

Search my heart and reveal to me the deep thruths that reside there. Search my character that I may beciome virtuous. Bless my future, that I would never feel what I felt.....many years, three years and a few months ago.Amen

2006-04-19T23:40:00.000-04:00

Currently at school. The time is exactly 11:16pm, and I am doing what I didn't think I'd be doing so soon. I'm messing with the enemy!!!

Ok well, not really. But somehow, only God knows if this is good for both my mental and spiritual health. (Lord, help me.)

I found myself reading a couple of profiles of some friends of mine on that site called TheFacebook. It seems that young adults are getting to know Christ for themselves. Atleast they are knowing of God and of Christ. It's encouraging to read the profiles of those I(personally) would not have thought were anywhere close to God that they would put scripture verses on their walls, or profiles....hmmm

Well today was good. I think I'm holding up pretty well with school and all. I'm on this mission to make more friends....more non-African friends. But I don't want to force anything you know. But with moving to Baltimore, I have met some of the most interesting people, from different backgrounds and beliefs. It's a little scary because it is something that's new and unusual for me.
Now, to speak from my heart. I'm on a road where I know I should not stop. Not for my past, not for my feelings, not for anything that does not sound or feel remotely "right". I need serious friends, who take the things of this life and of the next seriously. Who appreciates the blessings that God has bestowed, but is not afraid to make changes. I sometimes need to reminded that all things are TRULY possible. All I have to do is believe and bathe myself in this hard but priceless fact.
I miss my best friend. I long to have such priceless friendship again. I miss talking to my girls. I miss the sounds of reason and the hard truth about the state of my heart. I miss that hug..that touch...that look. Most of all, I miss that God in you.

I now realize that nothing....NOTHING makes my Spirit come alive like acknowledging who God truly is true the words of our lips. Have a blessed night in Jesus Name. AMEN.

2006-04-17T11:29:00.000-04:00

Is there really an "Easter Monday"??? I think I've grown up hearing this that I''d never decided to take the time to confirm this for myself. I still have not figured this out, or thought about this day...So if you have anything to tell me about today, I am interested.

But there's one day I KNOW about. There's one thing I'm certain of, and that's I have been saved. I've been saved from the condemnation that comes from living this life, I've been saved from the power of sin, very importantly, I've been saved from MYSELF. Who did this and when did it happen? Our Savior and our Maker did it for me, took it all from me, and sacrificed it all for me over 2,000 years ago yesterday.

Yesterday was so blessed, and fortunately, I learnt something different. I read about how He was crucified on the cross, bearing the sin of all mankind, and we who rejoice in His life and death are to sacrifice ourselves daily, and bear our own crosses in order to continually follow Him. I realized that Easter Sunday is not the only day to truly celebrate it all, but everyday of my life. I am to be excited that I love because He died and because He lives to. I am sometimes too caught up in this life to remember to carry my cross. When I do decide to, the cross has to be dusted off, and for a couple of days, it seems heavier because it has been a while since I last carried it.
I doubt if that's the way we are to do things. From refusing to say His name at the end of every single prayer prayed in public or prices, to refusing to bless or thank anyone blesses or curses us. (As I write this, I try to include myself in this).I am eternally grateful to God, first and foremost, for choosing to love me while I was in my mess of messes, and for sacrificing His all despite the fact that I will continue to slip up, being that my heart is fickle and desperately wicked.
I will continue to try not to take this all for granted.

My Pastor made this shocking but true statement yesterday, and that is that you can ask almost everyone if they believe in God (or sometimes a God), and they would say "yes", but not everyone honestly believes God (God the Father, God the Son/Word, God the Holy Spirit).

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16)

Happy Easter Everybody....Everyday:-D

2006-04-09T18:18:00.000-04:00

Today was, and still remains a beautiful day. Palm Sunday, when our Lord entered into Jerusalem before He was crucified and raised up from the dead, all because of you and I.
Service was educational yet powerful. I learnt that living Righteously was (and is) the answer to all our problems in life. This is the answer I have so prayed to God for for so many months and years. You think you know something about a certain subject, but you are put to shame when someone who has taken the time to learn and live the truth speaks about that same subject. It wows me all the time, and I am grateful to God for the ability to be wowed, especially when it has to do with my personal growth in all areas of my life.
One sad thing that happened today though was that I lost my cell phone. I have a feeling that someone picked it up, in church, with the INTENTION to hand it over to an usher, BUT (for Christ sake, I am believing this) got all caught up in the Spirit and the great message that was being preached, that they forgot to hand it over.
SO I had to turn off my phone, for the next 30 days or until I am able to afford a new one or better yet, find my old baby.
So if you are reading this, please send your number to me in the mail. Apart from a very few numbers, I wasn't able to memorize a lot of them. So I might have to start from square one :-(

But all things will work together for my good. I just have to remain joyful and have faith that it all will. Happy Palm Sunday.

First for April

2006-04-08T08:57:00.000-04:00

It's very funny that I started my blog a couple of months or so before my dear friend (u know who u are..lol) did. But for some reason , this woman has written more "publishable" material than I. I think that definitely needs to change somehow.

So I actually just got done reading her blog, and as usual, I was pushed to post something. I love reading her blog because we both seem to be on the same path n life, and that is figuring out how God truly wants to write HIS love story in each of our lives. Though we are different people, we seems to have very good conversations that always leave me feeling like I do deserve better, that I should do more, have more. I am grateful to have such a friends.

Well lately I've been trying to do more. I've had to step way out of my comfort zone and be adventurous...(like being young and crazy isn't enough).I see growth and many possibilities ahead, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I am taking the necessary steps to grab onto something else, something (or someone) that wants to mean more to me than ever before. He wants me to really believe that my heart needs in my life is in Him. It is Him. And for some reason, I've been scared to totally let go of all my abilities, trying to work out my inabilities by myself...My way...At my own time.
Well, just like my dear friends, I see that I can never do anything on my own, and I thank God for that revelation. I am young and wild (at heart) and I sure do need someone to put a leash on me every once in a while, if not always. And even as I discover the path I am to take with my job preference, my friendships and my faith, I somehow am kind of ready for anything.

It's a quiet Sat. morning and..

2006-03-04T10:07:00.000-05:00

The time is 10:07 AM exactly and I am hard at work. I've been here just 2 hours and all I've been dreaming about is my bed..and food of course. I am inspired by the two friends' blogs, and reading them made me want to write something.
So far, the year 2006 has been good. I've made it to March and I plan on going all the way.I've fallen, even when I said I wouldn't (go back to my last posting of 2005), but I'm not staying down.
All my life I thought I had the perfect plan. You know...get my Master's degree by age 24 at the latest, get a job, German Shepard and my car by age 26, and then be married and done by 26 as well. But we all know life doesn't always go the way we plan.God doesn't alwyas allow us to go the way we plan. Infact I think He never, except it's in His plan for our lives. And I am learning to accept that sometimes sad fact of life, especially a true believer's life.
I sit here and think about all the things I allow myself to worry about. My wants and my "heart's" desires. I could go on and on about what I'f want and how I think I want it, but now I see that what I want is not always what I WANT.
I thank God that I have a lot of girl friends and family to remind me of that.

On a different note, this week is going to be crazy yo. My dearest friends is leaving me for another city(definately not for good), but is leaving me nonetheless, and you know you will be missed dearly.So I'll have to go two weeks without being able to bug you with my "issues". How would you cope??? Another friend is in the state for Spring break.There's going to have to do alot of reading and seeking. Man can't I wait???

Happy Belated Birthday to You!!!! and more

2006-02-07T16:46:00.000-05:00

So how do I begin this entry???

I celebrated my birthday this past Sunday, Feb 5th. I was a year older, but my prayer was that I become wiser in my ways. Without turning this into an online diary, it was a good day. The entire weekend started of slow and crazy.
I just have to say a little bit on that. I had a good friend visiting on Friday. Sort of a 'Happy Birthday' visit. The day was going pretty well, but ended in one of the funniest, saddest yet embarassing way. I smile each time I remember that evening.

But luckily, all is not lost in that area. Infact, things are kind of ok but very, very complicated (the story of my life...lol)

I went out with a group of friends to a club we will definately not be returning to any time in the future. Man was it a sad night, and I wasted some good money too.
But all in all, my birthday was blessed with mostly family. Got so many texts messages that I 'm scared what my next bill would look like. But thanks you all who called. I felt trully loved.

Lately I find myself thinking about my future after school. This time last year, I thought that future was secured, But without looking back, I sort of thank God that things don't always work out the ay we plan. Some times I wish they would though, in order for alot of people not to get hurt. But I guess hurt and pain is part of life's lessons, without which, we would not appreciate who our Lord and Savior Jesus is and why He came. I am learning alot about the types of people there are around me, whether they be Africans, African Americans or whatever. From my friends to the stranger on the metro. I've met a few people who have made me think about my home country more than I have in forever. I live to be different. I want to make a difference, both in a small but drastic way.

I've thought about going back home to settle and work. Raise a family???? That's still in question. But I want to see change in Nigeria. Many of us young Africans are scared of going back home for one reason or the other, but the one that stands out the most is the lack of security in our home countries due to corruption and what not. Yes, that scares the heck out of me too but should that stop us or scare us off? Can we trully make a difference from out here, where there are opportunitities yes, but we are also limited in alot of ways when it comes to securing a good job??

I sometimes feel invinsible because I believe knowing who my God is makes all the difference. There have been many brilliant men and women before me, and I believe I won't be the last to think about this. But where do we as human draw the line and say this is all I can do or all that CAN BE done?? When should we throw in the towel and say 'I've done my best' or 'I can't risk this anymore'???

Ohhhh, one more thing. I've been reading up on some friends and seeing how they think. I don't know who will be reading this, but I hope whoever reads this is left with something to think about.
We as young, 'modern' christains want to make a difference or do things differently. From the way we look to they way we talk and live out our Christainity. Some of us don't want to be offensive when we some how tell someone about our faith and who Jesus Chirst is, some people don't metion Jesus Christ but choose to stict to saying just God, while others don't have to talk about thier faiths or beliefs at all.

Is there a right way to minister and help our neighbour and is there a wrong way to speak about God's unending love for us all???
I personally listen to people of any faith or belief, sharing their life experiences. Somehow, it buggs me when a Christain believer doesn't flinch or stand out from a crowd when a conversation abut God is going on. Not meaning to offend anyone, but shouldn't we speak differently about God because of the fact thwat Jesus Christ made and still makes all the difference in the world? Do we say prayers to God and leave His name out so that we are accepted by many and not hated because we made sure we let the other person know that there is God but we can't trully say we love Him without knowing and accepting who Christ is??
If anyone has anything to say about this, please feel free to give your little two cents(or more).

Happy New Year.

2006-01-06T13:10:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

I hope everyone is as expectant as I am this year. I am praying for graduations (Chris, Adanma, Oke, maybe Koko...j/k....etc), weddings (hint...hint Bowman)...my sister's especially, and many more good stuff.
I am bored out of my mind right now. This winter break has been much needed. But I see everyone is back to their normal lives, having no time for Toni as usual. So I have decided to make things happen for myself, by myself. I will be using my new accessory…my Digital camera (finally...do I hear Lanre say Hallelujah????) to record many moments between now and when classes start. I also plan on taking another trip, which will be the first of this year. My only problem is where...and how???

We'll see. Pictures of my break will be uploaded soon. It was weird not having my parents around for Christmas. It was my first Christmas and New years away from my parents, and in a land that is not normally referred to as 'home'. But it was a blessed time, just being with my brothers and sister.

I've learned.

2005-12-30T13:29:00.000-05:00

I've learned....That it's those small daily
happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned....That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned...That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned...That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned....That everyone you meet
deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned...That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned....That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned...That opportunities are never lost;
someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned....That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned...That I wish I could have told those I cared about that I love them one more time before they passed away.
I've learned....That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned....That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned....That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, ut all the happiness, and growth happen while you're climbing it.
I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.
I've learned that Prayer is the answer to all things.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway...

-Mother Teresa

Finally....

2005-12-29T12:46:00.000-05:00

It's been almost a month since I last put something.....some thought or happening...down on my blog or anywhere for that matter.

The year 2005 is only two (2)days away for being over...for ever. What happened this year would not happen again (atleast I pray so).
As I take the time to reflect on all that has happened...and where I have come from, I so appreciate where I am now.

From graduation on May 07, 2005

to departing from Lansing and moving to Baltimore in August of this very year...

Leaving behind but not quite letting go.....

I felt the loss of friendships (on different levels)that I never expected. Leaving for Baltimore was a real eye-opener, showing me that what I believed and felt was, wasn't.

To visiting Lansing MI,in November, only to have Toni never, ever be the same again. I would never feel like I felt, think like I though...see like I saw......

I think this year holds my life's record for the most number of tears shed...over the SAME situation...over ....and over...and over...again. It's crazy.

Someone I know once said that "pictures are worth a thousand words, feelings, stories". I couldn't have said it better myself.

You know, there are many things we as humans pray not to carry on to a new year. For some, it's a bad habit...be it porn or sucking a thumb.For some it's a history and believe that all I do has seemed to fail and not prosper so far. For the some of us, it is bad friendships/relationships, destructive feelings, heartbreak, anger, disappointment, feeling of deglect, feeling unappreciated and/or unrecognized, not being able to trust or forgive....blah, blah, blah.The list could go on.

But at the same time, we hope to continue certain new found secrets to life (honesty, openess, respect for oneself and the other, communication...Love), friendships/relationsips, jobs, family ties, lifestyles, and other things that build us up and help us grow spiritually, emotionally, physically. We pray for new and greater opportunities, a chance to explore the great gift our Good Lord has entrusted us with.

That's my prayer for the year 2006. I hope to get closer to those friends that have prayed me through a storm, and also be a better friend to anyone who needs me to be there for him/her. I pray for no room for self-doubt or thoughts of inadequacy or not being good enough for anyone or any suitation. I want to be a stronger woman, and learn from everyone and every single event that occured this year, in order not to find myself in a similar mess in the future.

Finally, (not really knowing if anyone is reading this)I would like to thank God for each and everyone of you that have blessed me, prayed for me and just been there for me this year. I appreciate the few people God has enabled me to be with, and I pray God gives/grants you the deep desires of your heart (remember, as long as it's according to His will).

I love you and let's enjoy the rest of 2005 while we still can. :-D

Up and Down

2005-11-28T19:21:00.002-05:00

I wasn't planning on writing for a very long time because I want to keep personal things personal. These past couple of weeks has been crazy, and I find that alot did happen and continues to happen with some people I know.

I do thank God for my life right this minute, regardless of what the circumstances around me are. All through undergrad, I fought with certain emotions,thoughts and circumstances about certain people and certain issues that I shouldn't have. Partly because those people did not give care about me or what was important to me. Some people capitalize on situations for their personal gain. I did that at different times this past year. I've seen people take advantage of people, and I hate to see people used and misused. I'm happy that I am able to recognize all this now and prevent it from happening to anyone I know.

So I have decided to get out of this cycle. I apologise if this sounds very personal, but I have to remain strong and focus on all the positive love and vibe I get from friends around me.
This past thanksgiving was great. I got the chance to spend some time with my two youger brothers who came up from MI. We all chilled at my sister's house in S. MD and had a blessed time with family and friends. Even though I had alot of things in my mind, I tried to make the most of this past weekend.
But the crazy thing is that I had one my my greatest fears confirmed bythe beginning of this week. Right now, I have a bunch of emotions running through my head and heart. But that is that. It hurts to be hurt by someone you hurt not so long ago.It even hurts more to be hurt almost the exact same way you hurt that person, intentionally or not.

But I thank God that school is great, and I am yet looking forward to the winter break. I just want things, every part of my life to be working out.I want the peace and stability I had this time last year back.

But I've come to see that things are always working out, we either fail to realise it or are blinded by our circumstance to recognize God moving, on our behalf and for our good.

Have a blessed week everyone (Whoever is reading this). I would like to take the opportunity to say a Happy Birthday to the Best sister anyone could ever pray for. She is a year older today and definately wiser. Happy Birthday Sis.

2005-11-17T16:50:00.000-05:00

Today started off ok. I sometimes have to remind myself that this is just an online journal, one I can use to express myself(but there's a limit) and one I can use to let people know what is basically going on in my life. I have to work on the 'basic' part (lol).

So this is a tough...very tough time in my life. ALOT is going on,with finals soon approaching and the semester/year coming to an end. Thank God for the Thanksgiving break coming up. I hope to get certain questions answered because sometimes you find yourself moving in a very, very slow pace in one area of your life, that kind of puts a dent in all the other areas.(I find myself in the 'reflection zone' already, even thought we haven't entered the month of December. Scary...but trully interesting).

I can never thanks God enough for my blessings that come in the form of family and friends. I have to know how to work these blessings and use them as much as I can. I thank God for my immediate family that just want to remain there for me to know that everything will be ok, and for friends who I can call up once in a while to just vent, and regardless of my history with them, they always take the time to listen and also give real good advice.

School is good so far, I'm just praying to God to do really good in my accounting class that seems to be kickin my butt. All the other's are interesting and not too difficult. I'm hoping for some days and ways I can move around in this city and just loosen up a little, and breathe. By saying this, I don't mean I need to be free from certain things, but it just means I need to hope again, and believe that all things are still possible, despite my past mess ups. You know???

I bet that's a great feeling. I will spend some time in my next entry or two talking about my co-workers and their different but yet interesting characters.

I have to go to classs. It starts in 30 minutes. Man I will be in class from 5.30pm to 11pm...is that crazy or what???

Definately an AWESOME weekend.

2005-11-09T00:46:00.000-05:00

I need to put up some pics in order to to bore you the reader, and me sometimes.)

Let me start of by answering the question that was posted on my last entry. People did not believe the gala show was the MAIN reason for my wanting to go to Lansing. They believed it had to do with a certain gentleman that has been a huge part of my life these past couple of years. I don't know if I should name any names, as I never know who might be reading this. But there were a couple of reasons that I went to Lansing...all personal though.
I was blessed enough to make it to and from Michigan safely. It really was a weekend that will never be forgotten. There was alot of screeming, laughing, crying, talking...... need I go on???? I felt it all within this past three days and four nights. But there were moments that will forever be cherished, and that was the level of honesty and openess I had to be on in order to do what needed to be done.

The show was good, food ok...ok because my friends and I reacted to it. But African food is great overall. My brothers are looking and doing good, thank God. I was happy to see some familiar faces.So yes, I am back to Baltimore and can't wait to settle down.

Ohhhhhh....I got the John Legend CD.

Nice Weekend coming.

2005-11-02T01:36:00.000-05:00

So it's been almost a week since I wrote something down. But I just wanted to say.....to all my loyal fans out there.....thnk you. Knowing that you read my blog day after day after day, and you sip inspiration from my words, keeps me going. I love you and God bless America.

(Just moi trying to look serious)

Ok...seriously. This week (and last) was crazy for me, but I did have a lot of blessed moments. I found some days filled with confusion and uncertainties, and others with bountiful blessings and God just making a way when I couldn't see any way out. Life is beautiful and just....full for surprises.

Work is great. School....same 'ol same 'ol. I have an exam in two days, and immediately after.....I will be planning my trip to LANSING, MI!!!!! I can't wait. I will have sooooo much fun.....it's not going to make any sense. Sike!!!! But I can't wait to get to Lansing. I miss the Michigan air, and just being a graduate student in the midst of all those crazy, young students. Men I wish UB was larger. But I can't wait to see my brothers and hear of their crazy stories. I can't wait to attend the cultural show, which is the reason I planned this trip in the first place...but everyone who knows me knows that the MAIN reason for this trip doesn't involve a bunch of African students being creative on stage :-p

Well to keep this short.....I know this coming weekend will be a memorable one...regardless of what happens. But God knows....there's gonna be alotta bum shaking!!!!!!!!!

Cloud 9

2005-10-21T18:24:00.000-04:00

SO HIGH

Baby since the day you came into my life
You made me realize that we were born to fly
You showed me everyday new possibilities
You proved my fantasies of love could really be

Let’s go to a place only lovers go
To a spot that we’ve never known
To the top of the clouds we’re floating away yeah
Ooh this feels so crazy
Oh this love is blazing
Baby we’re so high
Walking on cloud 9

(You’ve got me up so high) So high
(My shoes are scraping the sky) So high
(You’ve got me up so high) Oh
(My shoes are scraping the sky)

Maybe later we can go up to the moon
Or sail among the stars before the night is through
And when morning comes we’ll see the sun is not so far
And we can’t get much closer to God than where we are

We’ll go to a place only lovers go
To a spot that we’ve never known
To the top of the clouds we’re floating away yeah
Ooh this feels so crazy
Oh this love is blazing
Baby we’re so high
Walking on cloud 9

(You’ve got me up so high) So high
(My shoes are scraping the sky) So high
(You’ve got me up so high) Oh
(My shoes are scraping the sky)

Ooh…yeah
Ooh…oh hey

Ooh this feels so crazy
Oh this love is blazin’
Baby we’re so high
Walking on cloud 9
You got me up so high
You got me up so high
You got me up so high
My shoes are scraping the sky

You got me up so high
You got me up so high
You got me up so high
My shoes are scraping the sky ooh…ooh…
Yeah…

This is how love’s supposed to be
This is how, this is how love’s supposed to be, yeah
Let’s go to the moon baby, ooh
Let’s go to the moon baby, yeah
Let’s go, go, let’s go to the moon baby
So high…

Love Is.....

2005-10-20T14:49:00.000-04:00

1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love

Love is...patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; (I Cortinthians 13:4-8)

I had a life-changing conversations with my dearest friend last night. Actually, I have been having some serious convos with this him these past few weeks. And it seems like in every conversation we have, he would ask me the question, "is that what Love is?"

I would be quiet after he asks this, as I believed I knew what the Bible said about love. Today I decided to look it up, so that I have no excuses. As shown above, this is what God said love should be, among other things. I chose these two because they apply to both me and my friend, as well as many other young adults out there. Whether we are about to move to a new city/country, or we can't decide whether to commit to that one person/profession....we sometimes find 0urselves scared of taking that next step (FEAR) .
I had been ruled by fear for a long time. Now, I am putting everything in my God's hands because if there's one thing fear taught me, that was that I am only human and there's nothing I can do but hope in God, and Love in the process. Hoping and enduring has put me on the path to experiencing Perfect Love. I am still on that path, as I am reminded from time to time, as I sometimes find myself deviating to the paths of JEALOUSY, ANGER, RESENTMENT, and worst of all....HOPELESSNESS.

This has affected my relationships in the past with people, and my future plans in life.But not anymore. I have hope in alot of things, and I am finding true love, not as man knows it, but as God intended it.

Nothin much....

2005-10-13T01:08:00.000-04:00

Another day...and I declare that I do have alot of spare time on my hands that should be used to do more useful things like....save the world, rescue an old lady's cat from a tree, volunteer at some home or.....better yet......catch up on some homework. Now that's useful!!!!!
But I do have something to get off my chest or out of my belly. I feel like I need to share my thoughts with someone, but since there's no one here or available (phone-wise), I choose to express myself on my blog.

I've just spent the past 30 mins listening to some music as I browsed through a friend's blog. I've read most of the enteries before, but for some reason, I wanted to find out what I had missed, in terms of the times I was not there to share those moments with him. I got all caught up in each and every single blog entry, and I discovered that though I had read most of them before, I had not READ them. I did not take the time to allow the sites and happenings described to sink into my mind. For that, I'm sorry (you know who you are). I wish I was there to experience them with you.

But doing that would mess up what is going on right now, wouldn't it????

Reading his blog made me realise how funny and unpredictable life is. Things are so beyond our control sometimes, I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But I choose to be chearful, despite the confusion that's going on in my head. I choose to look at the bright side of life, and believe that things could be much worse than they are, for example, I could be sick and in the hospital, I could have my worst nightmare happen and be mourning someone I love dearly, or something sad like that (God forbids!!!!)

But I do thank God for my numerous blessings. For a family that love me and look out for me the best they can. For true friends, though few, that really care about me, that hang in there when I loose my mind (and this has happened not too long ago) and loose all that was once top priority inmy life. For that one friend who I can trully say has blessed my life in every way; one that has believed in me when no one else did, that listened to me act a fool and whin about things and situations I could change, once that prays and hopes for me, even though we can't watch movies late at night and hold hands like we used to.

Before I get into my usual "balling stage", if you're reading this, I just want you all to know that I love and appreciate you all. I wish I could put up some pictures to show what ya'll look like. But till then, let these words portray my never-ending gratitude to you. I love you.

Food for thought

2005-10-11T20:48:00.000-04:00

Hello again.

Right this minute, I am reading for one my my classes, which talks about Organizational behavior and Human Resource Management in Organizations. I am currently readin up on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. For those of you who know what this is all about, I hope you agree with me when I say I find it quite interesting, and exciting as all this theory talks about is all life-related, and not just limited to the work environment. Maslow's need theory is widely known, recognized and applied by pacticing managers. But I personally would like to take it out of the business context and apply it to our everyday lives, cause that's all I found myself thinking about as I read it (not to say I did not relate it to the job I currently have and have had in the past).
Ok so, it's arranged in like a pyramid form, and it is made up of:

1. Physiological Needs: Hunger,thirst, shelter, sex, and other bodily needs,
2. Safety Needs: Security and protection from physical and emotional harm
3. Social Needs: Includes affection, a sense of belonging, acceptance, and friendship
4. Esteem Needs: Internal factors such as self-respect, autonomy, and achievement and external factors such as status, recognition, and attention
5. Self-actualization Need: The drive to become what one is capable of becoming; includes growth, achieving one's potential, and self-fulfillment.

The Physiological need is at the bottom of the pyramid, and is described as lower order; social, esteem, and self-actualization were categorized as higher order needs.
This theory says that as these needs become substantially satisfied, the next need in the pyramid becomes dominant. Let's think about that for a second. Looking back on my own past experiences, and what I talked about a couple of blog entries ago, we start off having physiological needs. Those are like basic, and no one will dare refute that. No one is birthed into this wonderful, yet complex world of ours, and they start of by seeking self-actualization, to be fulfilled within ones self, to be all they can be. We start of wanting our basic needs met like what are we going to eat today/tomorrow?? What will we where? what job will provide me with security for my family and I??? I know I have had these thoughts and concerns. Haven't you???
Then comes the sense of belonging issue I was talking about before. Friendships and affection is great. I mentioned how I spent most of my life trying to belong and have a sense of belonging to not one but different types and groups of people I found myself around. Right now, I believe I am seeking to satisfy my top two needs: esteem and Self-actualization. I know no man can make this happen, just like it took nothing but the grace and divine love of God, and a few friends (who believed in me when I couldn't seem to pick myself up) to bring me past my bottom three needs. God know's there are a lot of women out there who can't seem to make it past the lowest order, which is the Physiological need. (Thank you Lord!!!!!!!!)
I look forward to growing in all areas of my life, to do things Ify/Anthonia/Toni never thought was possible, to go to places that was only a day dream away at one point in time.

(I feel like screaming. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ;-D)

Now think about this pyramid. How true is it in your life? Do you mind sharing???

Woman to Woman Encouragement

2005-10-11T18:57:00.000-04:00

Someone will always be prettier.
They will always be smarter.
Their house will be bigger.
They will drive a better car.Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about it.

The prettiest woman in the world can have sorrow in herheart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable tohave children.
And the richest woman you know -- she's got the car, the house, the clothes --might be lonely.
And the Word says if I have not Love, I am nothing. So, again, love you.

Love who you are right now and let God be your barometer.
Mirror Him. Look in the mirror in the morning and see how much of God you see.
He's the only standard and even when you come up short;
He will not leave you or forsake you.
Smile and may God continue to bless you.

"The one who kneels to God can stand up to anything."
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."

"To the world, you might be only one person, but to one person,you just might be the world."
"Kindness is contagious...pass it on."

The Daughter...The Sister...The Friend

2005-10-07T18:33:00.000-04:00

Ok people, I just got done typing this entry after like two days of wanting to do so. As I read through it, I notice that it is all jumbled up, with like three or four different thought and things going on (over the course of two evenings all up till today). Pls bear with me until I get the hang of this blog-thing. i do thank God that I am able to do stuff like this, cause the more I write, the more I want to say. Enjoy!!!! :-)

THURSDAY/THURDAY NIGHT.
Finally, it’s like 12.58 am and I finally have some time to write what I’ve wanted to write since last night. Last night I got to talk to a few friends, all of which was going through one thing or another. We are all going through something, and for the first time in a long time, I enjoyed sharing my experiences and I appreciated having them in my life, as each of them play different yet similar roles in my life.
I have decided to talk about myself a little. I choose to reflect on my past, and my present. I want to talk about Toni and what makes her up.
Before I begin, earlier in the evening, I spent some time in during one of my classes writing what and how I felt at that point in time. To add it here would kinda mess up my flow. So I will find a way to kind of fit it into what I have to say. I had two classes last night; the second one was the hardest to get through. My professor is nothing but special. All he says all through class is, “yah”….”Is it clear what I’m talking about??”…”Do you follow me???”….. “Yes my friend???” It’s all funny to me. I have to try real hard not to laugh each time. But he’s a sweet old man who seems to have nothing going on in his life. He longs for these Thursday night classes so much that he says it’s the highlight of each week. Weird huh????

Anywayz, I was thinking of the couple of trips I have planned for the rest of the semester. I plan on going to D.C for Mary and Elizabeth’s birthday party on the 15th of this month. I also found out that Elodie is also having her 21st birthday party that same day, but in a different club, I am pretty excited about that weekend, thought I have a couple of exams that following week. My next planned trip I for November 5th, by God’s grace. This one will be to Lansing, where I plan on having a lot of fun the “Toni” way. I have not done this these past few months, and I want to do it right this time. There are a lot of things I wish I could make right…a lot. But I guess that’s life and all I can do is pray to my God, live right and hope for the best. Though I wish I could be in Lansing for more than a couple of days, as it is going to cost me a few, I don’t really mind though. It’s all for love I guess. Hahahaha. And ohh...there's the driving test I've been meaning to do like all my life. Let's see what happens then.

To officially start off this blog entry, I had a nice day yesterday. The time right now is 4.13am. I have spent the past few hours talking and catching up with a friend who looked like he could use a talk. It’s a long story but I’m kinda happy I did talk to him. That’s me….pushing back sleep just to talk. I love it…though I will be cursing myself out (along with the guy himself. He has to work at 4pm) later this morning as I have to be at work at 9am. Well….no pain no gain.
Well back to my day. I took a shower, tried to leave home early enough so that I could go to school and complete this homework that was due later in the evening. But I stayed back a little bit to make lunch, and I listened to some Boyz II Men songs as I did so. I was taken back top when I loved nothing but love songs. I think I’m a romantic…I love to love and I love to be love. I am working on the “love to love” part, trying to make sure that I love EVERYONE and not just those who know and love me. It’s hard to do, but also possible. So I cooked and sang along to my songs, thinking about my life and all. Man it felt sooo good. Talking about myself, I was advised by a very wise woman to look at myself in the mirror every once in a while and tell myself who I am and remind myself of what I like and dislike. You know…some kind of way to reflect back on how far I’ve come, and to assure myself that I can still make it through the journey. So hear goes….I will be Toni, Anthonia, Ify.
Ify is the young lady who loves her family like no other. Sometimes, she’s scared that she might love them a bit too much. But I don’t believe you can ever love enough. Family is first, and to please her family members, be it her daddy, mommy, auntie, brother, or sister, would bring her no greater satisfaction in life. They are her heartbeat.
Ify becomes Anthonia when she decides to step outside her family home and the comfort zone that has been built and made for her since she was one second old. Anthonia is the chic at school who tries to be who she was in High school…the Victoria in every aspect of her life. Anthonia is casual friend to many, a colleague to a few, and “just somebody that I met” to some. Anthonia is polite to everyone she meets, but in those few minutes she finds she’s alone, she notices that she is nothing more than all what was listed above…..a casual friend, a colleague, and a stranger.

FRIDAY
And then there’s Toni.....now this is my favorite of them all. Toni is Toni…she’s alive, she’s vibrant, bubbly, fun. This one here plays more roles than Anthonia and Ify combined. She’s the friend that you can call in the middle of the night just to vent, or she could be the one keeping you up to the wee hours of the morning, just wanting to talk to you because you mean a lot to her.
She’s the cool sister to her younger brothers; she’s also the “over-protective” sister who will mutilate any girl that tries to get their dirty claws on any of her brothers. Sometimes she’s like the energizer bunny, she never stops.
She’s the girlfriend and the ex-girlfriend. She’s loves unconditionally and has been hurt quite a few times. She’s felt things that she would not want anyone to feel, but unfortunately, we are but flesh and blood. She did end up slipping, and quite recently too. She hurt the one she loved the most.
She’s the super-sensitive one. She tries to fit into the world around her; she’s taken up a couple of personalities just so that she could be “just like the others” even though being Ify and Anthonia has shown her that she is indeed one of a kind. Toni, Toni, Toni.
Toni has also had some low times. Though people know that she’s funny, a good dancer, someone who smiles a lot, someone who cares and is CRAZY about kids/babies, she’s gone part of her life not fully understanding what having those qualities could do for her and others.

Well I could go on and on about this particular character, but I prefer to tie them all up and speak from the heart for a little while. I am Ify, Anthonia, and Toni. I guess I spend most of my hours being Toni since that’s what all my friends call me. Life is crazy, my life, I love. I would not trade places with anyone..(except I was paid good money for it…sike!!!) But seriously, I know there’s no one who laughs at dumb jokes like I do. I am yet to see any woman out there with fuller lips than I have and no one can use them like I do (ask Koko…j/k), or a figure like mine. (I hope no one is being reminded of Toni Child from the show Girlfriends. cause I’M NOT HER!!!!!) LOL. As I was saying (I have one minute to complete this thought before my lunch break is over), I kinda love what God has placed in me. I have grown and learnt a lot from every heartbreak, tears shed and sleepless night that it’s crazy. If it had not been for it, I would not have been blessed with the opportunity to be loved by those who do love me, the way they do love me. Every girl wants that attention, wants to know that her opinions count. Basically we want to know that we are loved, appreciated and needed every once in a while, if not always. This could be in forms of relationships, friendships, family, jobs etc. I think that’s why one of the reasons why there are more women giving their lives to Christ than men.
I have to stop here for now. It’s back to work for me. This will definitely be continued very soon. Bye

Welcome

2005-10-07T10:31:00.000-04:00

Well, I guess I fianlly jumoed on the blogger wagon.