Cloud 9

SO HIGH

Baby since the day you came into my life
You made me realize that we were born to fly
You showed me everyday new possibilities
You proved my fantasies of love could really be

Let’s go to a place only lovers go
To a spot that we’ve never known
To the top of the clouds we’re floating away yeah
Ooh this feels so crazy
Oh this love is blazing
Baby we’re so high
Walking on cloud 9

(You’ve got me up so high) So high
(My shoes are scraping the sky) So high
(You’ve got me up so high) Oh
(My shoes are scraping the sky)

Maybe later we can go up to the moon
Or sail among the stars before the night is through
And when morning comes we’ll see the sun is not so far
And we can’t get much closer to God than where we are

We’ll go to a place only lovers go
To a spot that we’ve never known
To the top of the clouds we’re floating away yeah
Ooh this feels so crazy
Oh this love is blazing
Baby we’re so high
Walking on cloud 9

(You’ve got me up so high) So high
(My shoes are scraping the sky) So high
(You’ve got me up so high) Oh
(My shoes are scraping the sky)

Ooh…yeah
Ooh…oh hey

Ooh this feels so crazy
Oh this love is blazin’
Baby we’re so high
Walking on cloud 9
You got me up so high
You got me up so high
You got me up so high
My shoes are scraping the sky

You got me up so high
You got me up so high
You got me up so high
My shoes are scraping the sky ooh…ooh…
Yeah…

This is how love’s supposed to be
This is how, this is how love’s supposed to be, yeah
Let’s go to the moon baby, ooh
Let’s go to the moon baby, yeah
Let’s go, go, let’s go to the moon baby
So high…

Love Is.....

1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love

Love is...patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; (I Cortinthians 13:4-8)

I had a life-changing conversations with my dearest friend last night. Actually, I have been having some serious convos with this him these past few weeks. And it seems like in every conversation we have, he would ask me the question, "is that what Love is?"

I would be quiet after he asks this, as I believed I knew what the Bible said about love. Today I decided to look it up, so that I have no excuses. As shown above, this is what God said love should be, among other things. I chose these two because they apply to both me and my friend, as well as many other young adults out there. Whether we are about to move to a new city/country, or we can't decide whether to commit to that one person/profession....we sometimes find 0urselves scared of taking that next step (FEAR) .
I had been ruled by fear for a long time. Now, I am putting everything in my God's hands because if there's one thing fear taught me, that was that I am only human and there's nothing I can do but hope in God, and Love in the process. Hoping and enduring has put me on the path to experiencing Perfect Love. I am still on that path, as I am reminded from time to time, as I sometimes find myself deviating to the paths of JEALOUSY, ANGER, RESENTMENT, and worst of all....HOPELESSNESS.

This has affected my relationships in the past with people, and my future plans in life.But not anymore. I have hope in alot of things, and I am finding true love, not as man knows it, but as God intended it.

Nothin much....

Another day...and I declare that I do have alot of spare time on my hands that should be used to do more useful things like....save the world, rescue an old lady's cat from a tree, volunteer at some home or.....better yet......catch up on some homework. Now that's useful!!!!!
But I do have something to get off my chest or out of my belly. I feel like I need to share my thoughts with someone, but since there's no one here or available (phone-wise), I choose to express myself on my blog.

I've just spent the past 30 mins listening to some music as I browsed through a friend's blog. I've read most of the enteries before, but for some reason, I wanted to find out what I had missed, in terms of the times I was not there to share those moments with him. I got all caught up in each and every single blog entry, and I discovered that though I had read most of them before, I had not READ them. I did not take the time to allow the sites and happenings described to sink into my mind. For that, I'm sorry (you know who you are). I wish I was there to experience them with you.

But doing that would mess up what is going on right now, wouldn't it????

Reading his blog made me realise how funny and unpredictable life is. Things are so beyond our control sometimes, I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But I choose to be chearful, despite the confusion that's going on in my head. I choose to look at the bright side of life, and believe that things could be much worse than they are, for example, I could be sick and in the hospital, I could have my worst nightmare happen and be mourning someone I love dearly, or something sad like that (God forbids!!!!)

But I do thank God for my numerous blessings. For a family that love me and look out for me the best they can. For true friends, though few, that really care about me, that hang in there when I loose my mind (and this has happened not too long ago) and loose all that was once top priority inmy life. For that one friend who I can trully say has blessed my life in every way; one that has believed in me when no one else did, that listened to me act a fool and whin about things and situations I could change, once that prays and hopes for me, even though we can't watch movies late at night and hold hands like we used to.

Before I get into my usual "balling stage", if you're reading this, I just want you all to know that I love and appreciate you all. I wish I could put up some pictures to show what ya'll look like. But till then, let these words portray my never-ending gratitude to you. I love you.

Food for thought

Hello again.

Right this minute, I am reading for one my my classes, which talks about Organizational behavior and Human Resource Management in Organizations. I am currently readin up on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. For those of you who know what this is all about, I hope you agree with me when I say I find it quite interesting, and exciting as all this theory talks about is all life-related, and not just limited to the work environment. Maslow's need theory is widely known, recognized and applied by pacticing managers. But I personally would like to take it out of the business context and apply it to our everyday lives, cause that's all I found myself thinking about as I read it (not to say I did not relate it to the job I currently have and have had in the past).
Ok so, it's arranged in like a pyramid form, and it is made up of:

1. Physiological Needs: Hunger,thirst, shelter, sex, and other bodily needs,
2. Safety Needs: Security and protection from physical and emotional harm
3. Social Needs: Includes affection, a sense of belonging, acceptance, and friendship
4. Esteem Needs: Internal factors such as self-respect, autonomy, and achievement and external factors such as status, recognition, and attention
5. Self-actualization Need: The drive to become what one is capable of becoming; includes growth, achieving one's potential, and self-fulfillment.

The Physiological need is at the bottom of the pyramid, and is described as lower order; social, esteem, and self-actualization were categorized as higher order needs.
This theory says that as these needs become substantially satisfied, the next need in the pyramid becomes dominant. Let's think about that for a second. Looking back on my own past experiences, and what I talked about a couple of blog entries ago, we start off having physiological needs. Those are like basic, and no one will dare refute that. No one is birthed into this wonderful, yet complex world of ours, and they start of by seeking self-actualization, to be fulfilled within ones self, to be all they can be. We start of wanting our basic needs met like what are we going to eat today/tomorrow?? What will we where? what job will provide me with security for my family and I??? I know I have had these thoughts and concerns. Haven't you???
Then comes the sense of belonging issue I was talking about before. Friendships and affection is great. I mentioned how I spent most of my life trying to belong and have a sense of belonging to not one but different types and groups of people I found myself around. Right now, I believe I am seeking to satisfy my top two needs: esteem and Self-actualization. I know no man can make this happen, just like it took nothing but the grace and divine love of God, and a few friends (who believed in me when I couldn't seem to pick myself up) to bring me past my bottom three needs. God know's there are a lot of women out there who can't seem to make it past the lowest order, which is the Physiological need. (Thank you Lord!!!!!!!!)
I look forward to growing in all areas of my life, to do things Ify/Anthonia/Toni never thought was possible, to go to places that was only a day dream away at one point in time.

(I feel like screaming. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ;-D)

Now think about this pyramid. How true is it in your life? Do you mind sharing???

Woman to Woman Encouragement

Someone will always be prettier.
They will always be smarter.
Their house will be bigger.
They will drive a better car.Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about it.

The prettiest woman in the world can have sorrow in herheart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable tohave children.
And the richest woman you know -- she's got the car, the house, the clothes --might be lonely.
And the Word says if I have not Love, I am nothing. So, again, love you.

Love who you are right now and let God be your barometer.
Mirror Him. Look in the mirror in the morning and see how much of God you see.
He's the only standard and even when you come up short;
He will not leave you or forsake you.
Smile and may God continue to bless you.


"The one who kneels to God can stand up to anything."
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."

"To the world, you might be only one person, but to one person,you just might be the world."
"Kindness is contagious...pass it on."

The Daughter...The Sister...The Friend

Ok people, I just got done typing this entry after like two days of wanting to do so. As I read through it, I notice that it is all jumbled up, with like three or four different thought and things going on (over the course of two evenings all up till today). Pls bear with me until I get the hang of this blog-thing. i do thank God that I am able to do stuff like this, cause the more I write, the more I want to say. Enjoy!!!! :-)




THURSDAY/THURDAY NIGHT.
Finally, it’s like 12.58 am and I finally have some time to write what I’ve wanted to write since last night. Last night I got to talk to a few friends, all of which was going through one thing or another. We are all going through something, and for the first time in a long time, I enjoyed sharing my experiences and I appreciated having them in my life, as each of them play different yet similar roles in my life.
I have decided to talk about myself a little. I choose to reflect on my past, and my present. I want to talk about Toni and what makes her up.
Before I begin, earlier in the evening, I spent some time in during one of my classes writing what and how I felt at that point in time. To add it here would kinda mess up my flow. So I will find a way to kind of fit it into what I have to say. I had two classes last night; the second one was the hardest to get through. My professor is nothing but special. All he says all through class is, “yah”….”Is it clear what I’m talking about??”…”Do you follow me???”….. “Yes my friend???” It’s all funny to me. I have to try real hard not to laugh each time. But he’s a sweet old man who seems to have nothing going on in his life. He longs for these Thursday night classes so much that he says it’s the highlight of each week. Weird huh????

Anywayz, I was thinking of the couple of trips I have planned for the rest of the semester. I plan on going to D.C for Mary and Elizabeth’s birthday party on the 15th of this month. I also found out that Elodie is also having her 21st birthday party that same day, but in a different club, I am pretty excited about that weekend, thought I have a couple of exams that following week. My next planned trip I for November 5th, by God’s grace. This one will be to Lansing, where I plan on having a lot of fun the “Toni” way. I have not done this these past few months, and I want to do it right this time. There are a lot of things I wish I could make right…a lot. But I guess that’s life and all I can do is pray to my God, live right and hope for the best. Though I wish I could be in Lansing for more than a couple of days, as it is going to cost me a few, I don’t really mind though. It’s all for love I guess. Hahahaha. And ohh...there's the driving test I've been meaning to do like all my life. Let's see what happens then.


To officially start off this blog entry, I had a nice day yesterday. The time right now is 4.13am. I have spent the past few hours talking and catching up with a friend who looked like he could use a talk. It’s a long story but I’m kinda happy I did talk to him. That’s me….pushing back sleep just to talk. I love it…though I will be cursing myself out (along with the guy himself. He has to work at 4pm) later this morning as I have to be at work at 9am. Well….no pain no gain.
Well back to my day. I took a shower, tried to leave home early enough so that I could go to school and complete this homework that was due later in the evening. But I stayed back a little bit to make lunch, and I listened to some Boyz II Men songs as I did so. I was taken back top when I loved nothing but love songs. I think I’m a romantic…I love to love and I love to be love. I am working on the “love to love” part, trying to make sure that I love EVERYONE and not just those who know and love me. It’s hard to do, but also possible. So I cooked and sang along to my songs, thinking about my life and all. Man it felt sooo good. Talking about myself, I was advised by a very wise woman to look at myself in the mirror every once in a while and tell myself who I am and remind myself of what I like and dislike. You know…some kind of way to reflect back on how far I’ve come, and to assure myself that I can still make it through the journey. So hear goes….I will be Toni, Anthonia, Ify.
Ify is the young lady who loves her family like no other. Sometimes, she’s scared that she might love them a bit too much. But I don’t believe you can ever love enough. Family is first, and to please her family members, be it her daddy, mommy, auntie, brother, or sister, would bring her no greater satisfaction in life. They are her heartbeat.
Ify becomes Anthonia when she decides to step outside her family home and the comfort zone that has been built and made for her since she was one second old. Anthonia is the chic at school who tries to be who she was in High school…the Victoria in every aspect of her life. Anthonia is casual friend to many, a colleague to a few, and “just somebody that I met” to some. Anthonia is polite to everyone she meets, but in those few minutes she finds she’s alone, she notices that she is nothing more than all what was listed above…..a casual friend, a colleague, and a stranger.

FRIDAY
And then there’s Toni.....now this is my favorite of them all. Toni is Toni…she’s alive, she’s vibrant, bubbly, fun. This one here plays more roles than Anthonia and Ify combined. She’s the friend that you can call in the middle of the night just to vent, or she could be the one keeping you up to the wee hours of the morning, just wanting to talk to you because you mean a lot to her.
She’s the cool sister to her younger brothers; she’s also the “over-protective” sister who will mutilate any girl that tries to get their dirty claws on any of her brothers. Sometimes she’s like the energizer bunny, she never stops.
She’s the girlfriend and the ex-girlfriend. She’s loves unconditionally and has been hurt quite a few times. She’s felt things that she would not want anyone to feel, but unfortunately, we are but flesh and blood. She did end up slipping, and quite recently too. She hurt the one she loved the most.
She’s the super-sensitive one. She tries to fit into the world around her; she’s taken up a couple of personalities just so that she could be “just like the others” even though being Ify and Anthonia has shown her that she is indeed one of a kind. Toni, Toni, Toni.
Toni has also had some low times. Though people know that she’s funny, a good dancer, someone who smiles a lot, someone who cares and is CRAZY about kids/babies, she’s gone part of her life not fully understanding what having those qualities could do for her and others.

Well I could go on and on about this particular character, but I prefer to tie them all up and speak from the heart for a little while. I am Ify, Anthonia, and Toni. I guess I spend most of my hours being Toni since that’s what all my friends call me. Life is crazy, my life, I love. I would not trade places with anyone..(except I was paid good money for it…sike!!!) But seriously, I know there’s no one who laughs at dumb jokes like I do. I am yet to see any woman out there with fuller lips than I have and no one can use them like I do (ask Koko…j/k), or a figure like mine. (I hope no one is being reminded of Toni Child from the show Girlfriends. cause I’M NOT HER!!!!!) LOL. As I was saying (I have one minute to complete this thought before my lunch break is over), I kinda love what God has placed in me. I have grown and learnt a lot from every heartbreak, tears shed and sleepless night that it’s crazy. If it had not been for it, I would not have been blessed with the opportunity to be loved by those who do love me, the way they do love me. Every girl wants that attention, wants to know that her opinions count. Basically we want to know that we are loved, appreciated and needed every once in a while, if not always. This could be in forms of relationships, friendships, family, jobs etc. I think that’s why one of the reasons why there are more women giving their lives to Christ than men.
I have to stop here for now. It’s back to work for me. This will definitely be continued very soon. Bye

Welcome

Well, I guess I fianlly jumoed on the blogger wagon.